Valentine’s Day: Friend or Foe?

Posted on Posted in Counseling Blog, Marriage Help, Relationship Advice

With the love holiday just around the corner, it’s the perfect time to redefine what the day means to you. 

Many define Valentine’s Day as a day where you can either be a sucker and spend money or ignore it entirely. 

But with our chaotic lifestyles, I think we should use this day to pause and remember who we started this whirlwind adventure with. 

Sadly, we get so caught up in the day-to-day hustle that we forget to truly notice our partners and say, “Thank you for being the best teammate I could have ever asked for.”

I used to pretend not to love Valentine’s Day.  I defined it as a stupid day to guilt men into spending money on unnecessary gifts, and to make the singles feel like rejects. 

Now I know it can mean much more.  It can be a day where we stop and remember to love our partners and ourselves. 

The way you show it should be the way your partner feels loved the most. 

Here are some ideas:

-Write a note (handwritten NOT text).

-Run them a bath with their favorite soaps, and tell them “I got the kids tonight.”

-Pick up their favorite brew and have mugs nicely chilled in the freezer for when they get home.

-Give them the night off.  If that means being the family taxi, so be it.  Or if it means dinner prep and clean up duty, roll up your sleeves and dig in.

-Give them a massage.

If you’re not familiar with the 5 Love Languages, take a moment and take the quiz with your spouse tonight.

No matter what you do, make sure you look into their eyes and say, “I really do love you.”

Jessica M. Miller, MA owns a private practice in Minnesota and is the author of Back 2 Love, a relationship self-help book. For more marriage advice, check out her blog.