Mental health advice.
Have you ever assumed your partner knows that you love him/her? Sure, we all have at one point or another. BUT did you know that this may be a big reason as to why you’re not as happy as you’d like to be, in your current relationship. Studies show that the level of relationship satisfaction decreases when love is not shown. My hope is that by the end of this article you walk away with a newfound appreciation for practicing love.
You begin your search to find something “new,” “fun,” and for “everyone.” Okay, you got it! You plan a day trip to a park that’s 1.5 hours away (it has waterfalls therefore it’s worth it). Starting out you’re full of optimism, knowing that this time will be remarkable. You’ll take great pictures to post on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and more! Your family will share laughs, you and your partner will have quality conversations, as the kids go and explore. Oh this is going to be a great day!
Then something happens… you leave your computer desk and all hell breaks loose!
“MOM! He won’t give me my shoes!”
“DAD! I don’t have any underwear, can I be like you and skip it?”
In your own head: (bleep!) Where did I put the charger for the camera!?
“Get in the (bleep bleep) car or NO treats!”
You’d think staying connected with your partner would be a synch given the technology that sounds us, yet it has the opposite effect. Think about it, has your cell phone, iPad, IM account brought you closer together? Nope. Why is that? Because we use it for convenience and a distraction, not for connection. We remind our partner to pick up milk, or gripe about the latest office gossip, but rarely do we text, “You are so hot, I can’t wait to get the kids in bed tonight” or “I love you just as much as I did when we first met.”
Self-compassion is an easy thing to do but very few tend to give themselves the opportunity to practice it. Today, do it differently. When you mess up on a project or if you get something wrong with a recipe, shrug it off and remember that you’re not perfect nor do you have to be. Just do the best you can and in the mean time…try and slow down and fill that cup of yours:) Only you can make yourself happy but you need the time to do it.
Let’s choose to be different today. Turn off the radio, Pandora, the news, social media, cell phone alerts. Turn off the world and tune into you. Sure it will take some time to purge your mind of the little jiggles selling bleach products but eventually you’ll come to a place of quiet, calm, and clarity. It is in this space you are afforded the opportunity to realign with your core values, makes adjustments to your life and choose to do it better. When we get old and wrinkly let us be the generation that says, “Damn, I’m so glad I turned off the noise.”
As I took it all in it hit me, every one of us (including my family) felt immersed in a culture of community. Where we came together on our own free will to celebrate a shared interest, the children of our town. The game continued and I found myself becoming more and more engrossed in the game, environment, and truly part of something great.
Awh yes, the feeling of relief when the school bus pulls away heading off for the start of a new year. You’ve worked hard keeping them occupied over the summer, attempting to ward of the ever so hated state of existence; boredom. Yet now you’re about to come face to face with another exhausting struggle, extracurricular activities. We encourage our children to try out for anything and everything. We do this not realizing how much of our life we end up signing away, because with every activity comes the expected shuttle service.
Over the years I have found that happiness is abundant and always with us, we just need to take notice. Happiness is an choice/action just like love. When you feel good about something-ie secure, successful, proud etc you have the secondary emotion of being happy.
No matter how big our plan b is there is one thing we all have in common, we have no choice. Plan b came about and it is out of our control. What is in our control is how we proceed and the attitude we choose to do it with. I could have woke up pissed off and let the rain ruin my day, instead I snuggled in and listened to the light drops hit our window and meditated.
This morning on my usual walk I was reminded how much a good night sleep can change your perspective on your situtaion and how having a grateful heart makes for a happy person. I am a big believer in gratitude and the law of attraction. Typically, in the mornings I will take our dog for a walk and think about what I am grateful for. However for this past week I have been slacking off in saying my thanks.