The answer will surprise you.
If you had a money tree in your back yard, your life might get easier but it wouldn’t make you happy.
According to a new study published in the journal of Social Psychological & Personality Science those that value time over money are happier.
Which makes sense since stuff doesn’t bring us lasting happiness, it’s the anticipation leading up to the purchase that does.
And when you hear yourself say, “When I have more time, I’m going to (INSERT SOME FUN EXPERIENCE),” the activity typically involves another person and/or makes a memory, which does bring us lasting joy.
So Why Do We Continue To Chase The Dollar If Time Is What We Need?
It’s ingrained in the media messages, that bombards us on the daily, that if we just work hard enough, and have enough money, then we can be happy and enjoy life.
But this philosophy ends up making us chase our tails. Because while we are working our you know what off, we get burnt out, and right at that moment another ad will show the perfect material possession that promises to either reenergize you or make you happy. We then shift our attention to not making and keeping as much money as we can to “I must have that thing, I must have it now.” And we go and spend money for the idea that it will help us in the long run.
But Does It?
For example, as a woman I pay attention to the ads that are directed at women and our roles. There’s always a message telling us that we need to be all to all (and look good doing it).
So if I’m dog tired from work and watching the time click by as I race to finish dinner so that I can hopefully have some time with my kids before bed and I see Kelly Ripa showcase the Electrolux oven that speeds up my time in the kitchen, I think, “Huh, that would give me more time with my kids and give me a fantastic looking turkey to pull out of the oven.” And I could then attach to that idea and fixate on it until that shiny piece was parked in my cocina.
The part that I miss when I buy into the romance or the emotion that companies sell us is that I have to work how many more hours to pay for the darn thing and it sets me back from the ultimate goal of saving all this money to then someday have more time and be happy.
If We Could See What The Fisherman Saw
Remember that story about the businessman that saw the fisherman get up to leave after only catching one fish, and he encouraged him to stay longer and fish more, to sell more and have more money, to then someday enjoy his children, wife, and life?
And the fisherman looked at him confused and said, “But I do that now, I sleep late, fish a little, go home play with my children, take siestas with my wife, and later go into town sip wine and play guitar. I have a full and busy life.”
And the businessman couldn’t grasp the concept of be more with less.
What If We Adopted That State Of Mind?
What if you and I both slowed down to see that if we spent less or created a life with lower overhead we too could have the time to do the things that bring us the most joy, today not someday?
If we stopped buying the next big thing or rushing to get all the things done on our never ending to-do lists and slowed down to see the big picture. Which is, that we don’t have all this time to keep saying “Someday I will (INSERT WHATEVER YOUR HEART DESIRES).
For many someday arrives with an expiration date riding shotgun. If we don’t stop now and start living we may look up when it’s too late.
If we don’t put our phones down and pick up our children they may be too big to sit on our laps when and if we ever get the chance.
The media has created this illusion of what will make us happy and because there is repeated exposure to this illusion we believe it to be true. But in the end you too will see that it was only a shadow, never meant to get caught. It was created to keep us controlled, contributors to society, and greed.
You have the choice to stand up today and make a change. One change is all you need. Put the phone down tonight and hold your loved one. Skip out on work Friday afternoon and walk barefoot in the grass like Julia Roberts and Richard Gere, and stop thinking that money will buy happiness. It won’t and it never will.
The secret is to gain an unshakable respect for time. Value it, work for it, and savor it. Because that’s what true matters in life and what will bring you the most success in terms of happiness.
Jessica is the author of Back 2 Love and How to Start a Mental Health Private Practice. She owns a practice in New Prague, Minnesota where she lives with her husband, two kids, and two pups. For more relationship advice follower her on Twitter. Don’t forget to check out her video series, Back 2 Love on her YouTube channel Super Living.