Resolutions: Are they doomed to fail?

Posted on Posted in Counseling Blog

Happy New Year!

Awh yes, the time has come to ring in the new year; to new possibilities, new opportunities, and changes you would like to make.  This is the time of year that many (45% of the population) set out to achieve their goals, over come a fear, or cross off something from their bucket list.  The new year marks the perfect launching pad for such change; at the same time it also holds a lot of feelings of let down.  Many become frustrated when January 1st arrives because they are reminded of the past attempts to change that didn’t materialize.  If this is you, rest assured that you’re not alone, it’s estimate that only 8% of those that make a new years resolution actually succeed at achieving it.  

Why such limited success?

There are several reasons why your resolution may not have stuck last year.  First, the resolution may not have been a good fit for you.  Second, you didn’t take time to ask yourself, “what would it mean if I achieved this?” Third, you neglected to execute a well thought out plan.  

Recently, I read a book called, Switch by Dan and Chip Heath.  In this book they talk about how to create the change you are looking for.  They theorize that in order to change you need to be cognitively and emotionally motivated.  The authors use the metaphor of a rider and an elephant.  The rider, is the cognitive piece or the idea and the elephant, is the emotional piece or the passion, of the change puzzle.  As you can see little to no movement will happen unless the elephant is enticed.  

How to put this theory into action:

Let’s say your new year’s resolution is to lose weight.  How do you get the elephant to move?

First, you need to ask yourself, “what would it mean to me, if I was able to lose 15-pounds?”  Maybe it would mean you could run ‘break free’ with your child outside, or maybe you would be able to become more adventurous in the bedroom with your partner, or take less blood pressure medication.  Whatever your goal means to you, figure it out and write it down on a piece of paper.

At this time, we have the elephant awake and ready to walk, now we need to tap back into the rider in order to help us map out a plan of action.  Ask yourself, “What has worked for me in the past, when I wanted to lose weight?”  Then write down the tactics that you have experienced success using.  Finally, think about possible obstacles that will threaten a derail from your goal and try and find ways around those hurdles.  This step of being proactive is a HUGE help.  Lastly, break down your goal into bite sized pieces.  Don’t set your sights on a 15-pound weight loss goal, focus on the first five-pounds.  Once you achieve that success you can then use that motivation to propel you to the next five-pounds.  

The take home message:

Before you write off new year’s resolutions take a moment and ask, “If I do it differently this time, could it work?”  The answer most like will be yes, yes it will work and change is possible.  You just need to make sure your rider and elephant are both on board before you begin.

Thank you for reading and I would like to wish you a very successful 2015!