Awe yes that feeling you get when you help someone.
It’s euphoric, gratifying, and it’s a HUGE distraction.
In this fast paced world if you don’t seize opportunities to discover who you are and what your life’s purpose is, chances are it’ll be over before you show up. And always signing up to help others is a great distraction from the real work you must do to truly feel fulfilled.
Keeping Up With Societal Expectations
We run too fast and forget to ask ourselves is this where I’m suppose to be. We go from having the world by the tail to married with babies, in what seems to be a blink of an eye. From doctors appointments, to cleaning the house, to shuttling the kids to activities, finding time to check in with yourself is few and far between.
With so many distractions it’s impossible to keep tabs on who you are turning out to be. We change roles so quickly that our first role as an individual gets lost in the chaos. We are a spouse, parent, employee, boss, kid, friend, good samaritan, member of a congregation, and pretty soon a decade or more passes and we lose touch with ourselves. So much that it’s scary to ask ourselves, who am I anymore?
We say yes when we should say no and walk away. Many jump from care taking role to care taking role. The feeling of being needed is confused with the feeling of being content and happy. And when some body gets better or doesn’t need you anymore, you quickly scramble to a new host to regain your pseudo composure.
But what if we turned to face the fear. It would be like your dad would shine a flashlight on the dark corner of your room just to show you that you had nothing to be afraid of as a kid.
The #1 Reason is to Ensure that You Don’t Live a Wasted Life
Everyone is here for a specific reason. Yes we are suppose to help out and be kind to others but not to the point that we have no time for ourselves and our purpose. We rush, run, and race to get so much accomplished in just little increments of time that we create a new normal state of existence. It now feels uncomfortable when we sit because our minds and bodies are so used to moving.
Time Flies when You Run Like a Chicken with it’s Head Cut Off
Before you know it a year has gone by, or your son is getting ready to drive, or your daughter is packing for college. And then it’s just you in this house looking in the mirror and you think, who the $%#& are you!?
Most get scared $%#%less and wait for another host to help. But my hope is that a loved one of yours passes this message into your inbox and you hit pause even for a few minutes. It’s crucial that you learn how to simply be without all the do.
Most of us don’t have a clue as to who we are or why in the hell we are here. That’s what makes this fun. Each one of us can step off the conveyor belt and explore ourselves, be curious, and dig deep.
Sooner Than You Think It’ll Be Time to Examine Your Life
Around the age of 75 we sit back and review how we have spent our time. Sure helping others and being the family martyr makes you believe that will be enough. Even though deep down you can feel the resentment and regret bubbling. A stirring will begin if you don’t stop running away from yourself. And most will milk it through by dumping a little baking soda on it by committing to more things and caring for more people.
But I promise you that if we don’t stop and identify what makes us tick and figure out what’s most important to us (not society), no matter how much we help we will suffer in the end.
Why? Because We Can Never Get Those Moments Back
Time is one thing we can’t buy more of and yet it’s also the one thing we give away so freely and waste. If we all adopted the concept above, the world would be a much better place. We would put our efforts in where they need to be an enjoy the journey along the way.
The Longer that You’re Away the Harder it is to Come Back
We have all had a friend that we lost touch with. And the more time went by the more uncomfortable the thought of reconnecting became? It’s no different than the relationship we have with ourselves. And self-actualization is our key to living a purpose filled life with minimal regrets when our time comes to hit review.
The Take Home Message
Do one thing different today that gets you closer to getting to know who you are. If you don’t know what you like, order a new sandwich, and see if you like it. Go a different way to work and see if you like it. Sign up for a class that you always wanted to try but you never had the time, and see if it’s a good fit. And for those that are sick of being away, say no to someone asking for your time and take that opportunity and do something for yourself.
Jessica is the author of Back 2 Love. She owns a private practice in Minnesota with her husband, two kids, and two pups. Stay up to date on the latest science behind relationships by following her on twitter and subscribing to her YouTube Channel.