Happy, healthy, and yes blissfully sexy relationships take W-O-R-K.
How important is the relationship that you have with your spouse?
Extremely important. In fact it’s the most important relationship (not including religion and self) that you’ll ever have.
When your relationship is not up to par, the rest of your life takes a major hit. Other relationships suffer and your level of over all satisfaction goes down.
And yet, even after knowing and probably experiencing all the negative side-effects to having a less than desirable romantic relationship, most are not brave enough to make it past the threshold of my office door. Why? Because it takes a lot of courage to let your short comings out for a stranger to see. My purpose of writing this article today, is to show you why couples counseling is worth the risk.
3 Ways Couples Counseling Can Save Your Marriage:
- Curbs the He said/She said debates.
- Commits you to reality NOT a fairy tale.
- Allows a specialist “join” your team.
He Said/She Said
I guarantee that you’re absolutely right and equally wrong at the same time. Your perception or the way that you see the world is personalized to you. It’s informed by your childhood, life’s lessons, as well as your DNA.
That means that two people can be at the very same place in time, witness the same event, yet experience two totally different realities. That’s because the realities are subjective. Which means that you two are both right and you are both wrong (EQUALLY).
Understanding this point is key. Because when you can stop the bickering, you’re able to access a deeper level necessary to resolve the conflict. Raw emotions and feelings.
In fact, in couples counseling you’ll get so good at accessing your feelings that you’ll blow right past the who said what debate and simply share your softer side.
Once you can put the boxing gloves down, and expose your underbelly the real magic happens, pure understanding. This is what intimacy is made of. This skill takes trust and vulnerability, both of which you’ll learn and practice while sitting together, in a safe space, on my sofa.
Are You Ready To Dig In?
I have an impeccable track record working with couples because I don’t take on cases where the couple is not ready to work. Happy, healthy, and yes blissfully sexy relationships take W-O-R-K. If you’re not 110 percent committed, and are simply going through the motions to free yourselves of the parental/personal guilt, counseling won’t work.
Couples counseling is a lot like boot camp. First, you assess for any pre-existing conditions that need to be tended to so they don’t come back and hinder your mission on the battle field, aka having a successful marriage in real life. Then training begins. This is where you learn how to relate to your partner in ways you never have dreamed, and acquire the necessary skills needed to keep your relationship intact and safe.
After you graduate basic training or counseling, the real work begins, where you maintain what you two have rebuilt. When something threatens to tare you apart, rather than turning on your partner, you team up and demolish the enemy together.
Married life does get easier once you’re trained in and you know the necessary skills, but that’s not to say the work ever ends. If you truly desire a rockstar relationship the work NEVER goes away. And if anyone tells you otherwise, turn and run as fast as you can because they are full of you know what.
Pick The Right Specialist To Join Your Team
Couples counseling is not your run-of-the-mill general psychotherapy. It takes someone with the right training to come beside you and work together as a team, in order for you to create the marriage of your dreams.
Think of it in terms of brain surgery. You would NEVER have a general practitioner perform brain surgery on your child. You would find the best of the best in neurosurgery to do the job. The same needs to be true when finding the right specialist for your marriage.
Let’s go back to the opening line, there’s no relationship more important than the one that you have with your spouse. And going the “cheap” route or finding a therapist that isn’t specialized, but does take your insurance, isn’t going to get you the marriage of your dreams. It’s more than likely going to create much more stress, frustration, and possibly lead to the dissolution of your marriage all together.
Don’t gamble with something that’s so precious and happiness dependent. Make the choice to invest in the right kind of couples counseling that will pay great returns for the lifetime of your marriage.
Go into your efforts to not only save your marriage but to also create the marriage of your dreams with open eyes. Don’t settle for a practitioner that “specializes” in 20 things. No, do your research and choose an expert that has the training, the track record, and the skill to deliver exactly what you’re looking for.
Take Home Message
If you’re serious about saving your marriage, and you want couples counseling to be a part of your efforts, then you need to have the three things talked about in this article: a new perspective, a sick work ethic, and the right expert.
Text: “START” To (952) 210-3745 For a FREE Consult!
Jessica is the author of Back 2 Love and How to Start a Mental Health Private Practice. Check out her YouTube, Super Living for more great relationship tips. Jessica owns a private practice in New Prague, Minnesota where she lives with her husband, two children, and two pups.