The real reason for your unhappiness will shock you.
Have you ever asked yourself, “Who am I wasting my life for”?
According to a study from the Harvard University, you lose 50 percent of your life by doing multiple things at once.
As a society we’re so busy that it has become mandatory to multitask. When you drive, you think about work, when you help your son with homework, you mentally scan your to-do list.
It’s shocking to think that if you live to be 78 years of age (average life expectancy), 39 of those years will be wasted…
Who are we multitasking for 24/7? Who gets those extra years that we loose? It’s not our children, or our partners. If the people that matter most, don’t benefit from our mental absence, why do we continue to miss out on our lives?
The Unceasing Cycle
What’s truly going on behind the scenes?
The media does a great job making us believe that “the perfect life, is achievable. We’re shown actors with flawless skin and perky derrieres that can manage life with sufficient stamina to outlast a housewife on Ritalin.
On one hand they tell us that, “We’re not enough,” and with the other, they share a (their) solution to our problem.
They’re so skilled that we actually believe that this elusive existence can be attained—If we work harder.
The producers of the advertisements make us feel understood. We identify with the product and fixate on making it our reality.
For some, the answer will be an Electrolux oven that’ll afford more time. For others it’ll be the $200 facial cream that guarantees to reverse aging.
That’s when you begin to equate: “Me + Product = Happy”
We buy it and voila we’re happy—for a day maybe a week. Until the buyers remorse settles in or the familiar unhappy feelings return.
We’re scammed on a minute-by-minute basis by the best con artists in the world, advertisers.
They have studied, analyzed, and tracked our habits to the point that they deliver ads with painful precision.
Now we have X-number of items to pay for that pull us further away from our families.
The Sequestering Process Begins
The media paints the picture that everyone else is blissfully happy— AND we believe it! So when nothing seems to help, and yet the world appears content, we hide.
Once in a while we’ll peak out from behind our drawn curtains (via Facebook) to check and see if anyone else is struggling, but they never are.
Is Everyone Successful At Life But Me?
No. They’re just as scared to be vulnerable. They hide behind their perfect facade, which compounds our entrapment.
So we quickly close the curtain (and the laptop) and think, “I have to try harder, it’s just me”.
This is exactly what the advertisers want, for us to be isolated, unsure, and feel bad about ourselves. That way we’ll chomp down on their next deliciously baited hook.
The Heartbreaking End Result
Since no one wants to be brave and say it, I will. LIFE SUCKS WHEN WE LIVE IN THIS MERCILESS CYCLE.
We constantly run around trying to fill our schedule with busyness so we don’t have to feel as bad.
Whether you’re busy with work or mindless multitasking, you miss your life, while you pay for empty promises.
So again, I ask, “Who are you wasting your life for”?
Your kids, your partner?
It’s a Tragic Waste of Life
Let’s say that your son is 10 years old that means that you’ve already missed 5 years of his life.
When will it be enough for us to give these outrageous societal standards the middle finger and get back to the basics?
Will you stand up with me and do life differently for our sons and daughters?
Another study reports that only 1 in 3 Americans are happy. Obviously this is not working.
Chasing a shadow that promises happiness is no different than a heroin addict searching for his solution in the next fix. It’s a tragic waste of life.
They win, until we stand up and push back.
How do we change things?
The key to putting a wrench in society’s gluttonous plan is simple awareness.
When we become aware of what’s happening we can start to elicit change.
What that change looks like is up to you. It may only be a pause before the next time you swipe your AMEX, or it may be a Facebook message to a friend that seems to have it all. Ask her how she does it, and share with her how you struggle.
Just maybe your vulnerability will crack her defense and she’ll open up the faux shell and say, “It’s not so perfect. Really, life sucks for me too”. Because I guarantee, she’s not as happy as she posts.
The point is to tell the truth in order to feel the honest connection of another human being that can relate to your struggles.
It’s not easy to stand up for something that’s different. But it beats the buyer’s remorse that cripples you and the enormous guilt you feel when you have to work, yet again to pay for the latest purchase.
You NEVER Know When Your Time Is Up
I look at time different than most. I’m keenly aware that at any moment my life or the lives of those that I love most could end.
I’m 34 years old and I’ve been married for almost ten years. We have a daughter that’s 7 years old and a son that’s almost 6.
Essentially, I’ve lost 17 years of my life, 5 years of my marriage, 3.5 years of my daughter’s life, and 3 years of my son’s.
I’m done wasting my life for a lie. AND you should be too.
The truth is that YOU ARE ENOUGH. You’re worthy of happiness because you are intrinsically valuable, not because you do it all and have the biggest and best stuff.
You deserve to live a life with true connection and intimacy. That’s where authentic happiness lies, not in the superficial retail world or the standards set by society.
Happiness is appreciating what surrounds you, not chasing after teasers dangled in front of your nose.
Today, Let’s Do It Differently:
Remember, change begins with awareness, and now that you have it you can’t lose it.
Be brave and pull back your curtains and let the truth shine out for others to witness. You may see shades pulled back as a result that you had the courage to be vulnerable.
Listen to what they’re selling and remember that happiness doesn’t come in a box, it comes from within and you my friend already have it.
Jessica is the author of Back 2 Love and How to Start a Mental Health Private Practice. Follow her on Twitter where she tweets top relationship tips: @back_2_love_