Discover the simple ingredients for happiness.
Chances are you had to pause and contemplate your answer. Which doesn’t seem right, does it?
Happiness is portrayed as a blissful yet seemingly illusive state. That everyone seems to be chasing after.
It turns out that Australia may be able to help us get to our desired destination faster. Scientists have followed 60,000 participants over the course of 15 years. AND they are just now sharing with us what they have discovered to be the 3 common factors that determines a happy life.
- Financial security
- Good interpersonal relationships
- Sense of purpose
The first two are self-explanatory, but what about the last one? What exactly is a sense of purpose and how do you get one?
A sense of purpose is having clear goals or objectives that help define your existence.
How do you determine your sense of purpose?
AND how do you know if it’s your true purpose and not what society is telling you is your reason to live?
Let’s be real, it’s getting increasingly difficult to hear our authentic voice. The media bombards our every waking moment. Telling us how to think, act, feel, believe, look, and even decorate.
It feels as though our lives are under constant scrutiny. And if we don’t do everything just so we’ll be judged and shamed. Until we conform.
So when a study that says that a sense of purpose is necessary, it begs the question, how do we decipher what’s organically within us, and what’s being told to us?
For Starters You Have to Know Who You Are
Before you can know why you are here, you first need to cultivate a strong sense of self.
I’m a huge believer in personal identity work. In fact a large portion of the work that I do with clients is based around gaining a better understanding of self. Below is a list of questions that I would like you to answer.
TIP: If you want to get the most out of this exercise, grab a piece of paper, and respond to each question in a freestyle fashion. That means you simple write as fast as you can not paying attention to grammar, punctuation, or spelling.
This style of journaling is intended to help purge your subconscious.
Answer the following questions without using labels such as mom, husband, sister, friend, etc.:
- Who are you?
- What makes you unique?
- What excites you?
- What are you top 5 values?
- Where do you see yourself in 6 months, 5 years, and 20 years? Hint: If you have children write about how old they will be at each milestone and how your role will change in their lives.
Now that you have a better understanding of who you are, we can move to discovering your authentic purpose in life.
Overarching Authentic Purpose and Mini-Purposes
I believe it’s healthy to think of our purpose in two ways. The first is the overarching grand purpose for why we are here and the second are mini-purposes that allow us to jump in and truly make a difference in the world (even if it’s not our main objective in life).
The reason why I break it down like this is because coming up with one great reason to live is intimidating as hell! Some say it’s even paralyzing. By including mini-purposes you give yourself permission to dive into more opportunities to improve someone’s situation.
In life, we’ve all been involved in certain things that have made an impact on someone’s life or changed the community that we call home. It may not be your chief goal for life but it takes up some occupancy in your life for a bit.
For example, when my father was dying from cancer. I felt it was a huge mini-purpose of mine to be there for my parents so that he could die with dignity in his own home.
Now with the pressure off simply trying to figure out your main purpose for existing, what would some mini-purposes be for you?
Once you can list out some mini-purposes it will help guide the discovery of your main overarching purpose for life.
Tips to help with this process: Get into a quiet place where you feel calm and comfortable. Take some deep belly breaths, and use the freestyle method to journal some possibilities.
Use some writing prompts such as:
- What am I passionate about?
- How will I know my life mattered?
- The most important thing to me is…
- If I only do this, my life will be complete.
There, now that you have your very own guide to finding your sense of purpose you too can reach the ultimate state of bliss.
Of course you still have to knock out the other two, but that simply takes time, diligence, and good choices.
Just remember, having a solid sense of purpose in life starts with have a good understanding of who you are.
Enjoy getting to know yourself and why you are here.
Jessica is the author of Back 2 Love and How to Start a Mental Health Private Practice. She owns a private practice in Minnesota where she lives with her husband and two kids. Join the happiness conversation on Facebook.