It’s Saturday morning and you’re trying to figure out where to go with your children to create a fun family experience. You look up “fun things to do in _(insert your city)_,” and Google spits back pages of options.
You begin your search to find something “new,” “fun,” and for “everyone.” Okay, you got it! You plan a day trip to a park that’s 1.5 hours away (it has waterfalls therefore it’s worth it). Starting out you’re full of optimism, knowing that this time will be remarkable. You’ll take great pictures to post on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and more! Your family will share laughs, you and your partner will have quality conversations, as the kids go and explore. Oh this is going to be a great day!
Then something happens… you leave your computer desk and all hell breaks loose!
“MOM! He won’t give me my shoes!”
“DAD! I don’t have any underwear, can I be like you and skip it?”
In your own head: (bleep!) Where did I put the charger for the camera!?
“Get in the (bleep bleep) car or NO treats!”
Snacks are packed, tears are wiped, some teeth are brushed, and you’re off for some… fun.
“STOP TOUCHING ME!!”
“I hate this song! Change it!”
“Turn left, here! Turn here! Arg..”
We put ourselves through this again and again as if we forget the absolute horror of this debacle. Why?
Two reasons:
1. Too many options
2. We have a lot of pressure to provide tons of experiences for our children, AND catch it all on camera. Options can be amazing and options can be a nightmare. When we have too many options we almost turn into a robot that is short circuiting. It’s like our body explodes into an all out panic attack, trying to figure out how to spend a Saturday (or choose an outfit).
Gotta make those memories and make the most of ‘this day,’ right?
This is where the hijacking comes in. Sure there’s a lot to explore and most have the means to do it (in some fashion); nevertheless, what about the kids? What do they really need and want from you on a Saturday? How many times have you arrived at a far away place only to turn and see a frown on your children’s faces rather than an expression of amazement? Defeat sets in and disappointment floods your body. One or both of you (parents) will look at each other like, we just put ourselves through hell, and they aren’t satisfied. The next thought is, how did our kids get so entitled? Why is nothing good enough for this generation?
Let’s stop there and process what’s really happening. As parents we strive to give our kids everything we can. We truly want the very best for them and to provide an amazing childhood experience. Since we can literally track what other families are doing, via social media, the pressure is always there to ‘do more.’ Sure when we were kids, there were commercials about McDonald’s fries, A&W root beer floats, and even Disney World, but there wasn’t this constant visual streaming, into our homes reminding us of what we’re not doing as parents.
The question should then be: Are my kids entitled and impossible to please? Or, is the problem me and the pressure I feel to do more as a parent? Do you ask your kids, what would make them happy? Do you sit down and share in their enjoyment over the little things like a the monster truck they just created out of Legos? Maybe we need to get out of our comfort zone and what we think they need and check into theirs.
Another aspect of ‘going’ somewhere to experience something, is time. Your Saturday is basically eaten up by planning, packing, driving, arguing, driving, unloading, and meltdowns. You arrive back home exhausted and the count down for B-E-D time begins!
Sunday is filled with house work and getting ready for the week. Monday’s alarm sounds and a feeling of sadness arrives. The weekend, that’s for R & R didn’t revitalize you for the work week it made you feel more bogged down.
Now string a bunch of weekends like this together and you can see why popping pills is gaining popularity. I mean how defeated must you feel if you can’t even enjoy a weekend get away with the family! BUT… There’s hope! If you can get your weekends back you can gain a better attitude about your life!
Let’s get back to the basics. Parenthood is about experiencing the firsts through your child’s eyes. It’s one of the great marvels and gifts of being a parent. However our parenthood is being hijacked by feeling like we need do more, to be enough. The precieved pressure that we experience as parents is stealing those simple pleasures that make parenthood worth while.
If you were to go out in the back yard and play catch, have a scavenger hunt, or jump in the leaves, I gauarentee your family will have the bonding experience that your craving. Our children aren’t entitled spoiled brats (all the time) they are small beings that understand the simple things in life matter. Having that one on one contact with your child, maintaining eye contact, and sharing in their joys, are what matters most to your child, not one new adventure after another.
Stimulation has been accepted as a constant in our society. Therefore instead of encouraging curiosity we feed the monster by overstimulating our children with pre-constructed activities that require no imagination.
This weekend let’s do it differently and while we’re at it save some time, money, and disappointment. Google “fun things to do in your own backyard” and see what interests your family. Announce that you’re not traveling further than a five mile radius from your home for the entire weekend and see how much time stretches. It’ll be amazing when you have quality relaxing time with your family and you look up to realize it’s only 11 o’ clock in the morning on Saturday!
End the cycle of feeling like you can’t do enough or get it right. Slow down time by limiting your options to basic activities like playing catch or a pillow fight before movie night. To be a good parent you simply have to be available to your child. When we’re traveling or planning a big event for our kiddos to experience, we’re not present. We’re irritable, stressed, and then full of disappointment when it doesn’t go as planned. Facebook does a wonderful job showcasing happy times but always remember when you’re scrolling through your newsfeed, there is a lot more going on than what was captured in the ‘perfect’ picture:)
Have a fantastic “simple” weekend!