Have you ever assumed your partner knows that you love him/her? Sure, we all have at one point or another. BUT did you know that this may be a big reason as to why you’re not as happy as you’d like to be, in your current relationship. Studies show that the level of relationship satisfaction decreases when love is not shown. My hope is that by the end of this article you walk away with a newfound appreciation for practicing love.
Remember in the good old days when your partner would open your door or pick up your favorite treat when he/she was out? Or how about before the kids were added into the mix and you gave your undivided attention to your partner when he/she was talking about the day? I bet you both felt closer when you did invest in each other and the relationship.
Now, life is so busy that there are mornings that you may actually forget to brush your teeth. Between taking the dog out, launching the children to the bus stop, and getting down that heavenly sip of coffee, you’re in a state of mayhem by the time you hit the morning commute. Then as you’re staring at the brake lights ahead of you, you remember that today was your son’s turn to bring in the snack, (bleep!). You frantically call your partner and almost order him/her to grab some healthy snacks and rush them to school. Sadly, that turns out to be your interaction today as a couple, an order… not an “I love you,” or “I’ll miss you,” or “Good luck with your presentation, sweetie,” but a demand. Just think about how you and your partner must feel… unloved and unappreciated, two very scary states to have in a relationship.
It is crucial that you understand this ‘morning’ scenario could have been completely different had you, kissed your partner first thing when the alarm when off, poured two cups of coffee, inquired about each other’s day and then kissed (like you meant it) before parting. Take a second and think about how different the two of you would enter the crazy work day if that was the morning routine? You would feel loved, appreciated, and cared for.
Due to the pace in today’s society we need to be reminded that it is important to show love and not just assume the other knows. Sustaining this type of lifestyle is doable, day after day, if we know we are recognized, celebrated, and appreciated from our partners. It is reassuring when you get that text during the day, “thinking about you.” It’s almost like your partner was able to give you a ‘cyber’ hug out of the blue, oh man wouldn’t that feel good.
Imagine if you rented a movie that your partner really wanted to see and planned a date for the two of you tonight? Showing you love him/her has more bang for the buck than saying or simply assuming he/she knows. If you don’t know what to do because you have been in this relationship for a long time, think back to the dating days, what did you do to show your partner love and vise versa. Ask your partner, “What would make him/her feel loved this week,” and then do it. Take the 5 Love Languages quiz at www.5lovelanguages.com and really become experts at showing each other love.
This shift in your relationship has the potential to overhaul your feelings for each other and deepen your bond. So let’s do it differently today and show rather than tell (or assume) that your partner knows that you love him/her. Let’s bring back the gestures you made in the early days, figure out what makes your partner feel most loved, and enjoy all the benefits you will reap from this simple act.